This morning after I dropped you off at school (no, I can’t believe it either – school! Real, big kid, all day school! Yes, just like your sister!) I walked. In my active wear. Listening to Spotify, ok, Justin Beiber. I walked for 30 minutes. I breathed in the ocean air, I smiled at Mum’s pushing prams & strollers & I powered on up the hill home alone.
Free at last, free at last. The serenity feels good.
At home I did some lunges out the back. No one ran over my feet on their scooter. I kept on listening to Justin Bieber.
I lifted some hand weights. No one dropped any on their toes trying to be just like Mummy.
I ate my cereal listening to the radio. No one told me to stop singing, or to change the song.
I had a shower & washed my hair. I’m sure I was in there for a full 3 minutes & no one called me. No one came in insisting I come & see what the cat was doing right now!
I got dressed. Noone asked me why boys don’t have boobies or where do I think zombies go during the day?
I put on a skirt. Because unlike other days, there won’t be any playing in the sandpit or bouncing games on the trampoline today. There won’t be any carrying, lifting or consoling a 20kg big boy today.
I tidied up Batman’s cave, the collection of Star Wars & Monsters Inc guys who’d been deep in conversation with you before breakfast. I put them in your bedroom out of the way where neither the cat or I will trip over them today.
It’s lunch time & I’m starving! I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast because no one asked me for something to eat over one hundred times. I didn’t prepare any snacks in the shape of a face today, sultanas for the eyes Mummy! So I didn’t eat anything either. Maybe this is a great way to lose some weight!
After lunch I work on the computer. In my study. No one asked me to change the channel on the TV. No one called for me while they were on the toilet, how do our brains know what to do Mummy? No one asked me if we were going shopping today. You love going to the supermarket even though when you’re in the trolley these days you’re so big there is no room for the groceries. I’m reminded I can go to the supermarket on my own now.
At 2.50pm I didn’t have to rouse a sleepy head from the couch, snuggling their best buddy Blanky. I didn’t have to force someone to put on their shoes, yes you can ride your scooter if you put on your shoes, have you put on your shoes? We’re going to be late to get your sister from school!
I strolled to school. I spied the ant nest we’d stopped to look at this morning. Remembered that I hadn’t Googled the heaviest thing an ant could carry for you….
I started to get excited to see you. To hear how your day was. Who did you eat lunch with, what was your favourite thing you did today, did your new shoes hurt?
And then, all bright eyed, red cheeked & excited, there you are, racing out that class room door. Those little arms that are getting less & less chubby & more & more like a real big boy everyday are thrown around my neck & a big sloppy kiss planted on my cheek as I bend down to you.
I missed you today Mummy, but I had the BEST day!
I missed you today too buddy, so, so much.